I am ready to undergo the "change". There are many definitions for this. Menopause is one that comes to mind. I'm not ready for that one, yet. The change I'm referring to is an illogical fantasy. Yeah, I am ready to become a vampire.
Why the sudden interest in this less-traveled path? Well, I am quickly approaching my quarter-life crisis (although I've already reached crisis mode in life, so I highly doubt the age-change will make much of a difference). I like being young. No real responsibilities besides paying off loans. What more could I ask for? Except for eternal youth, nothing comes to mind. World peace? How about world tolerance...that's a little more feasible. They're never going to get along in the middle east.
Besides, I could really go for a romantic relationship where I get to fall in love. There is no better way to do it than with an illegitimate fantasy. Seriously, it does not exist for me in real life. So why can't I dream about my sexy pale vampire boyfriend/fiance/husband? I've got a great imagination, and it would be a waste not to use it. Although I'd have to say I'd make my vampire angel tall, with dark eyes and hair. So I guess pale doesn't cut it. Maybe I should marry a werewolf. Jacob, anyone? ;)
I just saw the Twilight movie (TERRIBLE), and re-read the whole first book (WONDERFUL), all in the span of about 16 hours...yeah, I'm ridiculous. But reading about Bella and Edward makes me yearn for such an exciting and intense relationship. It is, however, creepy how much time Edward has to watch Bella. I think I could do with a little space. I'll just keep reminding myself that he doesn't sleep. That makes it better.
I guess the whole point of this blog is that is really sucks when you are single and every one of your friends have "in a relationship" as their facebook status. LAME!!!! Brian Regan says it best in his comedy when he quotes "she's lonely".
Many thanks to Edward Cullen for fulfilling my dream much more quickly that he did for Bella. I am moving onto immortality. Peace out, suckas!!!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
3-ply
Whoever invented 2-ply toilet paper is a genius, but the inventor of 3-ply is a MORON!!!!! Did you know you can clog your toilet with 6 squares of 3-ply toilet paper? Well, you can.
Benefit: Silky smooth cotton feeling against your skin.
NOT WORTH THE HASSLE IT TAKES TO UNCLOG YOUR TOILET...and all I did was pee!
GEEZZZZZZ...
Benefit: Silky smooth cotton feeling against your skin.
NOT WORTH THE HASSLE IT TAKES TO UNCLOG YOUR TOILET...and all I did was pee!
GEEZZZZZZ...
Monday, November 10, 2008
D is for Vendetta
Dog: a despicable man or youth. (dictionary.com)
Just kidding, that is not the kind of dog I am talking about today.
Dog: a domesticated canid, Canis familiaris, bred in many varieties. (dictionary.com)
And to be specific, a black Labrador retriever named Gabie. She's been a part of my life for 12 years now, and I've loved her for as long as she's been in our family. However, she's beginning to show her passive-aggressive side in a serious vendetta against me. Here's the background.
Cat: a domesticated canid, Canis familiaris, bred in many varieties.(dictionary.com )
I happen to have a mixed Siamese/tabby with a raccoon tail and blue eyes. His name is Echo. I've had him for a year (but he's a year and a half). He's pretty much an a**hole and a baller rolled up into a ball of fur. When first introducing him to Gabie, she growled and freaked him out, but he is such a bad a** that she now succumbs to his mischief. They have known each other for about 6 months now, and even sleep near each other on her bed, but never cuddled.
Problem #1: On Halloween, I stepped out to get some last minute accessories for my costume. Upon my return, I smell a horrible stench in the house. I call out to my mother, only to find her in my room cleaning up a huge pile of dog droppings off of my floor. Apparently, she decided to take her frustration about the cat out on my floor! Either that or I was the one who forgot to let her out to use the restroom before leaving. Yeah, that was my fault.
Problem #2: I get home from a fun weekend with my college buddies to find a huge gash in my bed sheets. Immediately, I assumed Echo was the culprit since he constantly scratches the couch and my box spring. Upon closer examination, I discovered black dog fur all over my bed. I was too quick to point fingers; Gabie was the actual criminal (if you could ever call my sweet dog that). She'd slept on my bed!!! That just does not happen! When she "makes" her bed, she likes to scrunch up the sheets, and in doing that to mine, she ripped them. Geez!
In conclusion, I realize that Echo may not be the reason Gabie is pooing in my room and sleeping on my bed. She may just be old. And I still love her to death!
Just kidding, that is not the kind of dog I am talking about today.
Dog: a domesticated canid, Canis familiaris, bred in many varieties. (dictionary.com)
And to be specific, a black Labrador retriever named Gabie. She's been a part of my life for 12 years now, and I've loved her for as long as she's been in our family. However, she's beginning to show her passive-aggressive side in a serious vendetta against me. Here's the background.
Cat: a domesticated canid, Canis familiaris, bred in many varieties.(dictionary.com )
I happen to have a mixed Siamese/tabby with a raccoon tail and blue eyes. His name is Echo. I've had him for a year (but he's a year and a half). He's pretty much an a**hole and a baller rolled up into a ball of fur. When first introducing him to Gabie, she growled and freaked him out, but he is such a bad a** that she now succumbs to his mischief. They have known each other for about 6 months now, and even sleep near each other on her bed, but never cuddled.
Problem #1: On Halloween, I stepped out to get some last minute accessories for my costume. Upon my return, I smell a horrible stench in the house. I call out to my mother, only to find her in my room cleaning up a huge pile of dog droppings off of my floor. Apparently, she decided to take her frustration about the cat out on my floor! Either that or I was the one who forgot to let her out to use the restroom before leaving. Yeah, that was my fault.
Problem #2: I get home from a fun weekend with my college buddies to find a huge gash in my bed sheets. Immediately, I assumed Echo was the culprit since he constantly scratches the couch and my box spring. Upon closer examination, I discovered black dog fur all over my bed. I was too quick to point fingers; Gabie was the actual criminal (if you could ever call my sweet dog that). She'd slept on my bed!!! That just does not happen! When she "makes" her bed, she likes to scrunch up the sheets, and in doing that to mine, she ripped them. Geez!
In conclusion, I realize that Echo may not be the reason Gabie is pooing in my room and sleeping on my bed. She may just be old. And I still love her to death!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Some thoughts on the election...
1. Please vote for Obama. Obviously I am not a fan of McCain, but I am even less of a fan of Palin. And seeing that McCain is 72 and looks like an unhealthy actor in a cardiovascular advertisement (meaning he could die at any moment), we will be stuck with an incompetent vice president turned president by LUCK (or the inevitable forces of life).
2. Why would anyone in their right mind vote yes on Prop. 8? Isn't the point of living in America to have equal rights and not be discriminated against? That's exactly what Prop. 8 does, discriminate against gays. They've had enough discrimination, it's time for equal rights. Plus, most of the funding for the No on 8 campaign comes from out-of-state funding...does anyone else see a problem with that?
3. Please vote no on Prop. 4. Yes, I think girls should confide in their parents regarding a huge life decision like abortion, but I do not think that should be mandatory. You don't know what some girls' family lives are like. Parents could potentially abuse their child for being pregnant or kick them out on the street. Plus, we will probably see a rise in back-street abortions, which will increase the amount of medical care these girls could need if it is preformed incorrectly. And maybe we should try teaching sex education in schools instead of abstinence to help prevent these teenage pregnancies in the first place. O.M.G... A PROACTIVE SOLUTION!!??!! Who would have thought? Yeah, we really need to get the republicans out of the White House...grrr.
All in all, I hope that everyone exercises their right to vote (like me)! It's fun and you get a cool sticker to wear all day at work in front of your 3rd graders.
Speaking of 3rd graders, I had a couple of interesting experiences last week in my third grade class I subbed in for 4 days.
a) The first day I was in there one of the little girls asked if I was going to vote. I told her yes, and she proceeded to ask if I was going to vote yes on Prop. 8. Being that I am of the opinion that it is not my place to influence these kids in politics, I told her it was personal. She then told me her parents had her make them a bumper sticker supporting Prop. 8. How sad! These people are teaching a 7 year old how to be intolerant of people considered "different".
b) The next day, a different girl came up to ask me if god created the earth and all the stuff on it or if the earth created god. What an interesting question! Basically, she was asking me if we made up god or if he made up us. For those of you who know me, I do not believe in god and I think the whole concept was made up by humans (or the earth, in this child's question). Once again, I am of the opinion it is not my place to influence these children in their religious or political beliefs, so I stated that she will have to ask her parents that question. Well, another little girl proceeded to start preaching the bible to the first little girl, and the first girl said that the boy next to her told her there is no god, and there were lots of hurt feelings and I wanted to pull my hair out! Needless to say I terminated that conversation quickly...ASK YOUR PARENTS!!!
2. Why would anyone in their right mind vote yes on Prop. 8? Isn't the point of living in America to have equal rights and not be discriminated against? That's exactly what Prop. 8 does, discriminate against gays. They've had enough discrimination, it's time for equal rights. Plus, most of the funding for the No on 8 campaign comes from out-of-state funding...does anyone else see a problem with that?
3. Please vote no on Prop. 4. Yes, I think girls should confide in their parents regarding a huge life decision like abortion, but I do not think that should be mandatory. You don't know what some girls' family lives are like. Parents could potentially abuse their child for being pregnant or kick them out on the street. Plus, we will probably see a rise in back-street abortions, which will increase the amount of medical care these girls could need if it is preformed incorrectly. And maybe we should try teaching sex education in schools instead of abstinence to help prevent these teenage pregnancies in the first place. O.M.G... A PROACTIVE SOLUTION!!??!! Who would have thought? Yeah, we really need to get the republicans out of the White House...grrr.
All in all, I hope that everyone exercises their right to vote (like me)! It's fun and you get a cool sticker to wear all day at work in front of your 3rd graders.
Speaking of 3rd graders, I had a couple of interesting experiences last week in my third grade class I subbed in for 4 days.
a) The first day I was in there one of the little girls asked if I was going to vote. I told her yes, and she proceeded to ask if I was going to vote yes on Prop. 8. Being that I am of the opinion that it is not my place to influence these kids in politics, I told her it was personal. She then told me her parents had her make them a bumper sticker supporting Prop. 8. How sad! These people are teaching a 7 year old how to be intolerant of people considered "different".
b) The next day, a different girl came up to ask me if god created the earth and all the stuff on it or if the earth created god. What an interesting question! Basically, she was asking me if we made up god or if he made up us. For those of you who know me, I do not believe in god and I think the whole concept was made up by humans (or the earth, in this child's question). Once again, I am of the opinion it is not my place to influence these children in their religious or political beliefs, so I stated that she will have to ask her parents that question. Well, another little girl proceeded to start preaching the bible to the first little girl, and the first girl said that the boy next to her told her there is no god, and there were lots of hurt feelings and I wanted to pull my hair out! Needless to say I terminated that conversation quickly...ASK YOUR PARENTS!!!
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